Heaven

In a dark, violent sea she sailed

Storms hitting from every direction

Amid this horrible place she always managed to find her peace

She never wondered what if ..!

She never asked why me ..!

She never lost her faith that the shore is so close

That the harder it gets the closer the happiness is 

But she’s been there for too long

Her strength is fainting 

Her muscles are aching

Her head spinning 

Then she thinks she saw it

The heaven she’s been dreaming of 

A piece of Eden gardens on Earth 

She swam hard and fast

Reached the shore of a green island 

But then she noticed .. 

the darkness in the core 

She fought her senses 

She disbelieved her eyes 

Ignored her feelings 

But deep inside she knew 

There is no place like HOME

And the journey she took will never take her to a heaven 

Beacuse Heaven is where your Loved ones are .. 

Lady N Red  

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Darkness

When your life choices turn at you.. it looks you in the eye and laugh at you.. because it was you who initiated it all.. your decisions, your choices, and your words

It all came back to you as darkness creeps into the day.. so stealth and quiet.. dimming the light in your eyes as it takes over 

No place to run to now.. now that you are engolfed in the darkness you created.. you cant see the sun shines outside your perimeter

But you are sure there is a back door.. a tiny spot that darkness had missed.. you just have to look closely and more with you heart than your eyes

Look for the spot.. tear it up and enlarge it.. give the light a chance to overcome.. 

darkness is only as powerful as we make it.. always remember a tiny candle can defeat the dark….

Lady N Red

Beyond

A memory of laughter so hard and so true it hurts.. A gathering that never siezed to amuse her and make her laugh.. A happiness that fill her heart and made no place for any other feeling

All is a memory she held so dear

When her reality hits, and her tears come rushing and her soaps are so hard to stop.. she fall back to that specific memory.. Clenging too hard to the had-been happiness that her fingers ached

But it all doesn’t matter because it is just a memory

Late at night, she wonders, how could our hearts change?! How could our feelings be swapped?! How and when !!! All are questions without answers 

Change is never sudden or subtle.. it gradually alters whats there and by the time you realize you have changed there is no turning back 

Memories fill your head with times you miss but can never re-live, she thougt ..

What if ..?! But she got no answer

Because change has got her heart and her mind and she is beyond the memories, beyond the happiness, she is beyond Fixing 

Lady N Red

Birthday

In a little white dress she walked

Carrying her purse between the shops

Looking for something special

Something unique

It has to be a one of a kind purchase

Every year she starts this hunt for the perfect gift

This year she is looking harder than ever but cant find what she’s looking for

This gift is so special.. so important

It is for a special person in her life

The only person she depends and leans on

The only person she knows will always be there for her

For this year she finally got it

She does not need someone to complete her life

She is a whole person and she makes her life whole

This is her life she is celebrating

Her Birthday.. the day she came to this life

 
Lady N Red

SometimeS

Sometimes life is just a glimpse of happiness and a whole lot of sad, twisted, and complicated.. But nevermind the obstacles we go on

Sometimes wandering is not as bad as everyone claims it to be .. But it totally opens your heart and mind to new ideas and new life

Sometimes keeping to yourself is better than having a busy social life with plenty of friends who dont really understand who you are

Sometimes new is better than the old rather than the saying “old is Gold” 

Sometimes we need and have to cry, not everyone who smiles is happy

Sometimes we need strangers more than we need relatives and friends

Sometimes.. Never ends as those sometimes might replace the everytime

Lady N Red

This to shall pass

Its been her life forever, a peacful moment followed by a long lasting stormy hurricane.

She learned to accept her life as it is, eventhough it hurts, ALOT, but this is what she have.

She learned to love her peace, enjoy the lightness that comes with it. Fully indulge herself in the moment until it soaked so deep in her soul.

She learned to accomodate the storm, coop with the wind and strengthen her self in the process.

But then life smiled at her so gently and so wide, she hesitated, but never let it go. 

As she always did, she enjoyed the happiness, indulged in the comfort life provided, but kept her guards on for the hit to come. 

Life gave her the comfort she always craved, and she forgot the past, she thought peace could be made with Life, and people can be trusted. 

Once she lowered her guards, the hit came, out of no where, the storm started, piled up, hit hard. She was taken by surprise and the storm picked her up and played her as doll. 

Then all her past experiences came back, her powers ignited, and her walls are back higher than before.
Lady N Red

Life

life is nothing but a series of scenes

Experiences 

Start with our birth

First smile

First step

First tooth

Experiences that shape the person we become 

Every day we change 

To better or worse

Thats our choice 

To get the best of each lesson or take the wrong detour

Its our life and our choices 

We share this life with others 

Enjoy their presence 

And sometimes their absence 

Some people nourish us with their company 

And some just flourish our lives with their departures

But dont over cling to some one 

Or over grief the other 

Because this is LIFE

Nothing stays the same 

Everything and everyone pass through

Live it

Enjoy it 

And get the best of it

Because eventually 

We all end up in the ground 

Lady N Red

Numb

Through her life she has learnt
To numb her feelings
And disregard her desires
She has learnt that to be happy she has to feel nothing
Desire nothing
No Love
No companion
No trust
But then he came
He gave her hope
Of a new day
Of feelings she long forgot
She let her defenses down
And opened her heart
When she started feeling
She remebered the happiness of life
Of living
But then .. He disappeared
And all her feelings turned against her
How could he do that to her
How could he leave her to crash on hard bottom
Or was it her who did the hurt
She opened her heart
She broke her own promise
She thought life could be gentle to her
At last
But she was mistaken
And now she needs to go back
And teach her self to go NUMB again
Numb her feelings
Numb her desires
But this time
To make it perfect
She needs to numb her thoughts to
For being totally Numb
Is her last defense
Against a world full of hurt

Lady N Red

Desires

Confused
Between her heart and her brain
Between her desires and her thoughts
She wanted him by heart
And her mind screamed NO
He’s not yours to claim
And you are not his to have
She gave out her signals
And he caught them
He gave his approval
And they went on
She started a new journey
To discover
How is it like to be on that side of life
Her heart gasped for the adventure
But her brain screamed inappropriate
She kept fighting her brain
And strengthening her heart desires
As she felt happy as she never did for so long
But then came the day
When she found out
They both were not thinking the same
She wants more
She wants fantasy
She desires what she cant have
While he was more realistic
He knew where this has to stop
And where reality starts
He knew they can not be togather
And thats what he did
She was broken
Like she never have before
And her brain just rubbed salt on her wounds
Reminding her
That our desires are not what we should chase
That heart desires are the burials of our souls
And there she goes
Back to the darkness
Licking her wounds
And waiting for it to heal

Lady N Red

New Years Eve

All is set
The new years eve party is a few hours away
She started preparing
The hair, the make up ..
The little black dress .. ravishing
She had plans
For the party and afterwards
Stay the night maybe..!!
She was ready for all the possibilities
Except for one
He never showed up
She spent the night waiting
All dressed up
Then 10 minutes before midnight
She had a crazy thaught
What if i check on him
Drop by his place
And she did
She reached there by mid night
The lights were on
Then she heard the noise
Screaming
People laughing
The lights turn on
Its the new year
Starting with a little kiss for luck
But it was not here lips he was kissing
It was someone else
Was she dreaming
The frost she’s feeling says otherwise
Could she be imagining the whole thing
His invitation!!
Their special nights!!
All the tiny details?!
She had to make sure
She rang the bell
Stood out there .. defying him
He laughed.. careless
She cried
Asked why
“You were last years’ resolutions.. this year it is her”

Lady N Red